Welcome to Transtopia


Hi. You’ve reached Lily Maynard’s blog. Welcome.

If you’re a first time visitor, please start here.

In late 2015, my teenage daughter Jessie declared she was transgender and the experience tugged us into a rabbit hole of Orwellian double-speak and general insanity. I read so much during that time and it was such a vast learning curve that I felt compelled to bring all the threads together in an article.  I was especially struck by the exponential surge in the number of teenage girls who were ‘identifying’ as boys, usually young lesbians and usually after lengthy sessions on social media.

After Jessie desisted, I wanted to share what I’d read as well as what I’d learned and eventually I finished writing an article which contained over 100 links. Jessie added a short postscript of her own and I was delighted when 4thwavenow published it in December 2016 under the title ‘A Mum’s Voyage Through Transtopia – a tale of love and desistance’.

I’ve since re-published the article here on my own blog.

Before you ask me any questions; before you critcise or praise my stance on transitioning kids, or the appropriation of womanhood by men, please read that. It’s where it all began.

After Jessie re-realised she was a girl and things settled down at home,  I expected to put my time in Transtopia behind me and move on. Instead I became more fascinated- and angry- with the culture of misogyny and homophobia which underlies transgender theory.

For without stereotypes there can be no ‘brave transgender children’. Without the dolls and the pink tutus, a love of glitter, a gentle nature and a will to dance, what could possibly make girls of the little boys of ‘My Transgender Summer Camp’? What other than her love of Batman, karate and jumping around could make that short-haired, fierce little girl into a boy trapped in a female body? A feeling?  How does a boy feel? How does a girl feel?

Without sexism, there can be no transgenderism. Without the idea that there is a ‘right’ or a ‘wrong’ way to be a boy or a girl there would be no need to beguile and medicate these kids in an attempt to make them ‘fit in’. Our current culture of blind affirmation is not doing anyone any favours.  It is nothing short of abusive to tell a child that they are ‘wrong’, that they have been ‘born in the wrong body’ or that medication and surgery can make them into the opposite sex.  Affirming a trans-identified child- and many of these kids are LGB, autistic, have suffered trauma, abuse or loss, or have co-existing mental health issues- is to set them down a path to becoming a life-long medical patient.

This first step down this pathway begins with agreeing with a confused girl that she is a boy.  21st century kids who undergo social transition young frequently progress to puberty blockers. Children given puberty blockers almost always go one to take cross sex hormones. This combination leaves a child sterile and without sexual function.

What would have happened if I had affirmed my child when she told me she was a boy?

I would have called her by her new name and ‘he/him’ pronouns.

This would have told her that I believed she was not a girl, that I thought she had been ‘born wrong’ and needed fixing in order to be her ‘authentic’ self. It would also have affirmed her delusion, every day.

I would have paid for her to see a private therapist.

Most private therapists will tell you trans-identified children become suicidal if not transitioned. The reality is, there is no data to support the idea that they are more at risk than any other child being seen under child mental health services.

I would have accessed my child cross-sex hormones.

Don’t believe those who tell you about lengthy waiting lists. If you are broke and follow the NHS route, yes. If you’ve got a couple of hundred quid spare, you can get hormones for your child quickly and easily. Gender GP is just one of the services that has prescribed testosterone for girls as young as twelve. Before we jump to blame the parents, consider: is it any wonder parents resort to this when they’ve been told their child may kill themselves otherwise?

Girls on testosterone often develop acne and male pattern baldness. They grow beards. The beards, baldness and deepened voice are irreversible. They are also at higher risk of heart attack and other diseased and illnesses. Most doctors recommend a hysterectomy within 5 years of being on testosterone.

Top surgery would be next.

Why wouldn’t it be? By this point everyone would have been using my child’s new name and pronouns. Everyone would be agreeing with her that she was a boy. She would probably be using a binder, with all the health risks that entails. It would seem like natural progression to have an elective double mastectomy. In the USA, girls as young as 13 have undergone this procedure.

She might have chosen to go on to have phalloplasty, where the skin of the arm is stripped to form a tube of flesh that’s attached between the legs. As you can imagine, a lot can go wrong with this procedure.

And there we would have it.

My dysphoric child would have been left dependent on drugs and the affirmation of others to maintain this illusion for the rest of her life. And you know what? She could still never be a man.

In what world is this progressive?

You can read mine & Jessie’s story here with a post-script by my daughter.


Posted in Opinion Pieces | 11 Comments

Let Women Speak – Reformers Tree, London 30/4/23

As my bus drove alongside Hyde Park, I saw a gaggle of TRAs collected by the fountain. Ten minutes later, by the time I’d got off the bus, crossed the road and grabbed a coffee, they were just starting to make their way towards those already gathering at the Reformers Tree. I moved quickly, wanting to reach the group before the TRAs got too close.

I remember just a few months ago, watching in disbelief as the ‘be an ally, arm trans people’ banner made its way towards me. That one only ever got the one airing – I think they must have realised how ridiculous it sounded- a bit too mad even for London. This time they carried the familiar white tarpaulin bearing the legend ‘TERFS OFF OUR TURF DEFEND TRANS LIVES’.As they marched, they beat a drum and chanted ‘scum, scum, scum’. It was surreal and slightly sickening. “Posie Parker’s a fascist,” they sang to the tune of Seven Nation Army. “Whose streets? Our streets! Whose streets? Our streets!” Two women sitting on mobility scooters shouted back at them “Our streets!”

The women’s casual we’ll-take-no-shit-from-you-young-man attitude juxtaposed beautifully with that of the self-important, black-clad, bemasked boys leading the chanting. To say the men looked faintly ridiculous under the eye of these ostensible evil Nazi terven overlords would be an understatement. Ridiculous, but still dangerous. Someone on Twitter described them as ‘fragile thugs’ and the title fits perfectly.

The promised rain hadn’t materialised and it was a warm afternoon. I finished off my cup of coffee and chatted to friends, keeping one eye on the still-chanting group of TRAs. The police were keeping them well away from the main gathering but it would still be easy – as happened an hour later- for a small group to break through. Everywhere I looked were groups of police officers, most on foot, some on horseback, all looking fairly serious and wearing spectacularly clean HiViz.  There were many more of them than of the TRAs. I heard a cheer go up on my left and saw that Kellie-Jay had arrived.

Initially I was near the front of the ring that gathered around Kellie-Jay and the livestream cameras. When the applause died down, she encouraged us to move the entire circle a little further away from the TRAs, leaving them in what she called ‘a literal and metaphorical time out’. After asking how many people were there for the first time – a surprisingly large number of people raised their hands- she led the group in a chorus of ‘It’s Almost like Being a TERF’.

“They are here,” she gestured towards the TRAs, “because we want to say- without fear of punsihment- that no woman has a penis, no man has a vagina, there is no such thing as non-binary and transitioning children is profound abuse.”

After advising anyone who couldn’t hear the speakers over the noise of the TRAs to listen on the livestream, Kellie-Jay asked women to keep their speeches to 3-5 minutes, so everyone had a chance to speak. While the TRAs were doing their best to disrupt us, yelling, rattling cans and banging drums, we were far enough away that I could hear perfectly well at the front. I spoke briefly to a woman behind me who was there for the first time.  As the first woman stepped forward to speak, I decided to go and have a look at what was going on outside the circle, leaving my place to the newcomer.

The livestream of this month’s ‘Let Women Speak‘ event can be viewed on Kellie-Jay’s YouTube channel, here.

The police had adopted a different tactic this time – one that didn’t allow us to be hemmed in in a small circle, so that was definitely an improvement. They ‘d split into two rows, creating an empty space between them, a sort of nomansland where the occasional journalist or curious passerby might start to wander. One row held back the TRAs, a smaller row faced our group. Let Women Speak stewards discouraged women from crossing the first line, but most people weren’t interested in doing so. The police easily outnumbered the TRAs, who seemed slightly more spartan than last time. Apart from the two lines, small clusters of cops gathered around the park keeping an eye on things and checking smaller groups didn’t break through.There were more people at this meeting than ever before: it was hard to take even a rough headcount. At a guess: 300-400 of us, 150-200 hundred police officers and about 50 TRAs?

While the TRAs screamed “Posie Parker you can’t hide, you’ve got Nazis on your side” and “Alerta alerta! Anti fascista!” the women in the circle were able to do what they had come here to do- speak and to listen to other women speak, in a space where it was acceptable to express anger or discomfort with men in women’s spaces and the gaslighting of children.

Others sat in small groups on the grass and ate their lunch or watched the livestream. A few flags and banners blew in the breeze. Here are some photos from ‘our side’ of the lines.

Venice turned up and delighted us with a TERF skirt dance and a few of us joined her in a chorus of ‘there are many many more of us than you,’ a verse the TRAs like to chant at us. There were, indisputably, many, many more of us than them on this occassion. You can watch a short video of Venice in action, here.

A dinosaur also joined us! Hello again old friend! And of course, the inevitable TERF dogs.

So from where I was situated, it all seemed fairly peaceful, until Emma told me that one of the stewards had been hurt while trying to hold the line and prevent the TRAs surging forwards. She is ok, but has since tweeted pictures of bruising that she thinks may have been caused by being poked with umbrellas while she was caught up in their flag.

To give you an idea of the more crazy side of things, DJ Lippy went behind the lines and shot this footage of furious men screaming, women laughing, a guy brandishing a bike at the cops, and elderly women on mobility scooters blowing whistles at the TRAs.

A guy who calls himself ‘correct not political’ also captured some of the more hairy moments. You can see his video ‘Alerta alerta’ here. There’s a bunch of raving lunatics shouting at some old feminists,” he observers before questioning the TRAs and being removed by the police.

I didn’t enter into the realm of the mad goblins but I did get the usual photos of some of their banners for your amusement.

I’ll start with what I like to call ‘death by hyperbole’.

Yes, the young person holding the ‘let us live’ sign does look about fifteen. I imagine that they genuinely believe that we would like to kill them, which is a terrible thing.

These kids believe that it’s possible to be born in a ‘wrongly sexed’ body. This idea is perpetuated by the media, the education system and even the judiciary. No wonder they’re confused. The grown ups have left the room.

As usual, there was no particular meaning to their signs. We are obviously not fascists, unless believing there are two sexes makes you a fascist. Then there’s all the DARVO: they turn up to our meetings and accuse us of being obsessed with them. ‘Trans joy’ may well outlive us all, but there was little joy in the angry, masked faces of this furious bunch.

From a distance I thought the sign in the lower right hand corner read “You cunt, Polish TERF!’ Who is this Polish TERF? Perhaps the elusive KLK whose initials appeared on another sign? Do they even understand what they’re protesting about? It seems not.

Previous attempts to interview TRAs have met with failure, but Jess Gill managed to interview a couple of them on Sunday.  The insights of the young women she interviews are… well… interesting.  Neither seem exactly sure why they are there, what they want, who Kellie-Jay is or what she thinks.

One says she is “protesting Rosie Parker the fascist, she has views that are homophobic, racist, all of those…”

They are confident however, that TERFS are fascists and that they deserve to be punched. So that’s nice.

The interviews are here.

Of course, the purpose of ‘Let Women Speak’ is to do just that. Let women speak.  The police are not there because we are causing a public disturbance or endangering anyone. It’s not about two rival gangs being kept apart, it’s about them turning up to our meetings and screaming at us because we don’t believe in gendered souls. The police are there, whether they admit it or not, to protect a group of women from violent, angry men.

The livestream of this month’s ‘Let Women Speak‘ event can be viewed on Kellie-Jay’s YouTube channel, here. There you can hear true diversity speak, as all women have a chance to get up and say their bit.

And Aja does a great new performance piece at the end. Check it out.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Dance for Freedom – supporting women in Iran 29/4/23

Today, 29th April 2023, International Dance Day, women gathered at Picadilly Circus in London to ‘dance for freedom’.

The official website for International Dance Day, which started in 1982,  says: “This day is a celebration day for those who can see the value and importance of the art form ‘dance’, and acts as a wake-up-call for governments, politicians and institutions which have not yet recognised its value to the people and to the individual and have not yet realised its potential for economic growth.”

Preparing for the dancing

The human rights organisation One Law For All and Women’s Liberation Movement
FiLiA charity arranged #Dance4Freedom  to defend and support the woman’s revolution in Iran.

It was a hot and dry afternoon as we made our way to Picadilly, where tourists and break dancers mingled on the island at the junction of half a dozen busy London streets.

For 45 minutes, women from Iran, England, and other countries would dance on the statue steps to show solidarity with women and girls in Iran.

The length of the dancing was to symbolise the time it took for the morality police to call an ambulance after 22 year old Mahsa Amini collapsed and died when in detention in Tehran in 2022. Amini was detained whilst at a railway station with her brother, accused of not complying with hijab rules and arrested. Three days later, the 22 year old was dead. Her death led to protests throughout Iran and the rest of the world.

Some of the women dancing, like myself, had come to this part of town specifically to show support. Others just happened to be passing by and joined in. Many people stood and watched. Women handed out copies of the ‘Woman Life Freedom Charter’ to passers-by.

Before the dancing started, Maryam Namazie, spokeswoman for One Law For All, called for “an end to the Islamic regime of Iran” and a “free and equal and better society.”.

We were taught the simple dance by Faranak Heidari, who, before the dancing began, sung a lullaby for all the women and girls who have lost their lives in Iran. You can see a short clip of her singing here.

The dance consisted of simple hand movements and we swayed and tapped our feet. At one point we all held our hair in the air (see below top right), at others we looked down at the ground or made a salute of solidarity.

Many of the women who joined in were passers-by. A blonde woman in her sixties watched for a while before joining us on the steps and dancing next to me.  At one point during the dance we all held our arms up high and joined hands, total strangers united in making this small gesture of solidarity. After dancing with us for a few minutes, she thanked us, sniled, rejoined her friend and went on her way.

Some little girls joined in the dancing, including a toddler barely big enough to be able to stand. Her dad placed her at the front of the group as people clapped and cheered, and Heidari held her up to the watching crowd. Two little girls in matching T shirts also joined in, one giving a solemn power salute of her own.

A few days before the event, One Law for All and FiLiA released the folowing press statements:

Maryam Namazie – Spokeswoman for One Law For All
“We must continue to honour Mahsa Jina Amini and defend ‘Woman, Life, Freedom’
for the women of Iran, Afghanistan and across the globe. This revolution will herald a
new dawn if only we support it, encourage it, and defend it. Imagine what the world
will look like when a misogynist theocracy is overthrown by a woman’s revolution.”

Freya Papworth – Spokeswoman for FiLiA Charity
“It is our duty, as feminists and as women who recognise patriarchal oppression and
violence in all its forms, to stand in solidarity with the women of Iran who have been
brutalised by the Islamic regime and who still fight back and believe in a better world.
There is hope for real change and we ask all women who support this fight for
freedom, to join us in this dancing protest.”

Maryam Namazie (right) and Freya Papworth at the start of the event

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment