101 things the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to do…

It was announced today (10/6/21) that Maya Forstater has won her appeal.

Here is an excellent and informative piece, ‘The Forstater Judgement: what Next? written by her lawyer Peter Daly, who tweeted this morning:

Very pleased to be able to say that my client Maya Forstater has been successful in her appeal, and has established that gender critical beliefs are protected under the Equality Act 2010.

You can read the full judgement here.

The organisation recently set up by Forstater and others is called Sex Matters.

For a background to her case, you can read Maya’s story in her own words here, and read newspaper articles concerning the case here (2019) and here (10/6/21).

This post is concerned with what has become the burning question on Twitter “What are the things that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to do?”

Having chortled my way through them for the last hour or so, it seemed only fair to gather some of the best ones, in no particular order, into a post for posterity. So here are 101 things that today’s ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to do.

It seems that the meme started with Oliver Burkeman’s response to a tweet by Victoria Smith, who wrote:

” ‘Reassurances’ that feminists having the right to speak doesn’t mean they have the right to harass aren’t intended to reassure, but to reposition feminists as aggressors rather than victims of age-old policing of women’s speech about their lives & embodied experiences.”

Smith’s comment appeared to be in response to tweets such as this one from Mermaids, suggesting that some people might want to  “unlawfully harass, intimidate, abuse or discriminate against” people who identify as transgender and that such people might believe that the ruling gave them the right to do so.

Burkeman, in response to Smith, joked,”“It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to come round and steal your plasma screen tv”

and the meme took off.

@lecanardnoir

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to push her chair back on a short haul flight to Dusseldorf.

@HairyLeggdHarpy

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to stand *in front* of the yellow line around the baggage carousel when she disembarks

@NAllison89

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to help herself to the Italian dinner you just made.

@IamCassieCurtis

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to help herself to your chips….

@OozlumSam

“It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to climb in through your window and fill your living room full of sheep”

@WimpundB

“It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to rearrange your couch cushions so that they’re standing on their points”

@anonacademic_uk

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to hold up a shop at gunpoint. This is very significant.

@SeaGreenGlass

It is important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to change the radio station when she is a passenger in your car.

@slightlyatsea

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to redecorate your house if she doesn’t like your wallpaper.

It’s important to note today’s ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to come round your gaff, look in your fridge and announce you’ve fuck all in.

“It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to pick the raisins out of your Müsli.”

@HairyLeggdHarpy

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to finish up the last of the toilet paper without replacing it

@For_XXs_Sake

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to change lanes without indicating on a public highway.

@ShelockHumbug

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to break into a museum and draw moustaches on all portraits.

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to come into your house and do your crosswords in biro.

@yvonneridley

It is important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to eat more than two Weetabix for breakfast.

@karen_actually

It is important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to identify as a lesbian on Tuesdays just to get all night drinks for a pound at Ruby’s.

@FKASerioJosh

It’s important to note the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to return a video back to blockbusters circa 1999 without rewinding it back to the beginning.

@KatrinaWatson

It’s important to note that the judgement does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to release a despair squid causing hallucinations among the unsuspecting crew of a large mining ship 3 million years from earth crewed by the last human, an evolved cat man, a hologram & a mechanoid.

@MaryHowden

Its important to note that todays ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to eat all the giant cheesy wotsits in a large share bag

@karen_actually

It’s important to note the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to smoke on the balcony of a non-smoking building even if she leans towards the street

@STILLTish

It is important to note that today’s ruling does not give Maya Forstater the right to dress up as a wolf, pretending to be a grandma, to terrorise small girls with a penchant for red capes.

@weehalfpintt

It’s important to emphasise the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater unfettered legal right to take her socks and shoes off on long haul public transport.

@enominal

It’s important to note the judgment does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to tweet an infinite number of exuberantly random nested quote-tweets that eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare.

@shizoor

It’s important to note the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to wear armour in the Houses of Parliament in contravention of the 1313 Statute Forbidding Bearing of Armour.

@Boogeytran

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does not give Maya Forstater the right to harass nesting migratory birds.

@Jebadoo2

It’s important to note the judgment does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to steal the Lich King’s helm of domination, shatter it and open the veil between life and death permitting entry to the shadowlands.

@Ozymandias1817

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to burst into my home and use my toilet without my explicit permission.

@Dom_2626

It’s important to note the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to skip the light fandango and turn cartwheels across the floor….

@Self_Made_Dan

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to tweet a picture of a suffragette ribbon @policescotland, probably

@Lungbarrow1

It’s important to note that the ruling does not give Maya Forstater the right to summon Ifrit in order to settle a dispute over a petty cash payment for a bottle of washing up liquid. Nor does it give her the right to slay vampires during normal office hours.

@megawhelmed

It’s important to note this ruling does not give Maya Forstater any legal right to claim shotgun without sight of the vehicle. The use of mirrors remains permissable (Braille vs Braille, 1993)

@MTCiceroQC1

“It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to have thrown the first brick at Stonewall.”

@DieMadTerf

It’s important to note today’s ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to change the settings on your phone, look through your contacts and delete your Twitter app.

@SoniaClimes

It’s crucial to remember that today’s ruling does not give Maya Forstater the right to harvest merkins from the royal parks.

@LicoriceMedusa

It’s important to remember that the ruling today does not give Maya the right to borrow your car, use all your petrol and pretend the scratch on the side was already there.

@GoldMustard

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to pickle herrings on a Tuesday at Stonehenge with a rabbit on her head.

@CrowPurple25

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to cut branches off your tree where it’s over hanging her fence, unless she brings the cuttings round & offers to give them back.

@LisaMay23054229

It’s important to not the ruling does NOT give Maya Forester the right to feed gremlins after midnight OR to get them wet.

@Jebadoo2

It’s important to note the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to enter the neutral zone between Federation and Romulan space, furthermore she is still bound by the Ferengi rules of acquisition as we all are.

@GenderDissident

It’s important to note the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to compete in next year’s Eurovision.

@ArtistMonkey5

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to ride an electric scooter on the pavement or on the wrong side of the road.

@tommytuck39

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to blame it on the sunshine or the moonlight. She can however, blame it on the boogie.

@sickofgenderwoo

It’s important to note the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to replace all my size 12 clothes with size 14, but she did

@Soalloverthis

It’s important to note the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to claim diplomatic immunity or use a bus lane during the Olympics.

@BombsLottie

“It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to enter your home and lick your baked goods to claim them as her own”

@davecoviddave

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to come round your house to lay a stair carpet and say there isn’t enough for the hall as well even though you measured it and there definitely should be and she leaves a big fucking lino gap ffs.

@jmer64

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to steal a goat and tether it in my living room.

@sylvanianlife

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to put soya bacon in your butty then claim “Its pretty much the same thing, I’m surprised you can tell the difference”.

@AlexUntethered

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to put pineapple on pizza

@ForkArachters

It’s important to note the ruling does not give Maya Forstater the right to mess with my toot toot

@Joanne10904731

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to step on my Blue Suede Shoes.

@joannes_army

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to allow house elves to drop pudding on Aunt Marge’s head in violation of the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy and the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery.

@eddiekavanagh

It’s important to emphasise that today’s ruling clearly does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to drive sheep over London Bridge!!

@CityBoy446BC

It is important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to create a temporal paradox leading to the unraveling of the space/time continuum and the ultimate dissolution of the cosmos.

@JohnRaemi

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to party like it’s 1999.

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to drive in the outside lane right up to the last minute, and then try to cheekily shove herself into the designated lane in front of you, right before the exit.

@paulmyszor

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to tailgate you at 90mph with her giant diesel SUV whilst blasting Motörhead from the speakers.

@CityBoy446BC

Important to emphasise, it is, give to Maya Forstater the right to judge me by my size the ruling does NOT.

@kroquegg_overon

It’s important to emphasise that this ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to show up at the world line-dancing championships in full Native American costume, wave a tomahawk and yell, “Let’s do this motherfuckers!”

@FroodThe

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to change the tuning on your guitar if she fancies a quick play.

@genthewren

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to release her own version of Mistletoe and Wine this Christmas said a statement today from Sir Cliff.

It’s important to note the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to come round your house and imply that it’s tastelessly decorated or suggest you should probably run the hoover round, not is it permissible for her to observe you should wash your filthy curtains.

@CityBoy446BC

It is important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to make even one Horcrux. And certainly not seven.

@toriajayne

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to tempt your cat away from home with Dreamies and claim it was hers all along.

@Kirsty_Delane

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to come into your home and take all your alcohol and have a street party I kinda wish she would though

@KittenBumble

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to come round and sing opera through your front door

@TrumpsterTrash

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to club a fox to death and brag about it on social media.

@MikiB007

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to illegally deposit waste or refuse (including garden rubbish) onto land that does not have a licence to accept it

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to laden her shopping trolley with Aldi special buys to the detriment of others who have popped out specifically for the Workzone electric sander and bistro set on a Thursday morning!

@colmod99

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to mow her lawn at 4 in the morning.

@PeakedAs

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstarter the right to come round your place of work and wave ribbons at you

@GGreengage

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to come round and use the final bit of milk in your fridge

@stephencarlin

It’s important to emphasise that the Maya Forstater ruling does NOT give her the right to grab your hand, slap your face with it, and proclaim ‘why do you keep hitting yourself?’

It is important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to peek inside Schrödinger’s cat’s box

@WackyPidgeon

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to commandeer a ship.

It’s important to note the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right at a wedding to audibly comment to one of your Aunts that you’ve put on a few lockdown pounds and what good is an expensive gym membership if you never use it anyway.

@milenacontent

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to change her mind at the checkout and nip back for some extra noodles.

@ladyduckpojok

It’s important to note that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to stick her chewing gum under her seat at the restaurant.

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to wear a Mexican sombrero at a jaunty angle.

@dottys_friend

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to raid your Quality Street tin and run off with all the Purple ones

@LilyLilyMaynard

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to wear Crocs with socks and claim it’s an ironic fashion statement.

It’s important to emphasise that this ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to claim everybodies left socks for the Free The House Elves Campaign. I firmly believe she could do it mind  10/06 ‘Sex Matters Day’

@VickyMiller74

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to drive to Barnard Castle to test her eyesight.

@VixedVexen

It is important to note that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to put plastic yoghurt pots in her Council’s green compostible recycling bin

@quelizinha

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to break into your house and rearrange your furniture to give you bad feng shui.

@mattym000

It’s important to note the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to stand on the left on the escalator.

It’s important to note the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to break the Vienna Treaty of 1712 and accordingly she cannot challenge the territorial integrity of lower Prussia

@OldRoberts953

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to do the Shake and Vac OR to put the freshness back.

@poynterton

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to keep the woodland folk awake in fear and trembling every night in case she gives someone a bite

@Blythespirit60

It is important to note that this ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to have a famous movie made about her inspiring struggle for women’s rights starring Meghan Markle as Maya, JK Rowling as herself and Prince Harry as Ben Cooper QC

@LenoreNuit

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to travel faster than the speed of light or to measure both the speed and position of a particle with complete accuracy.

@ItsAnAyeFaeMe

It’s important to emphasise that The ruling does not give maya Forstater the right to rage against the machine.

@with_rhymes

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to fight for the right to paaaaaaaaarty.

@KarlAccent

Its important to emphasis that this ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to drive a DeLorean at 88 mph, go back in time and rewrite history as to her liking. 

@radcap3

It’s important to note that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to run away from prison by means of faking her own drowning and establish a new life as mayor of and major employer and benefactor in a rural French town

@Megalodon_16

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to remove her socks at Soft Play!….

@BasedLilith

It is important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to not refrain from running, pushing, gymnastics, shouting, ducking, petting, bombing, swimming in the diving area or smoking. #ThankYouMaya

It is important to emphasise that the ruling does not give Maya Forstater the right to ride six white horses, wear pink pyjamas or cry ‘aye aye yippee’ when she comes round the mountain.

It’s important to note the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to ride a unicorn through Atlantis while dressed as a yeti.

@TheRealLindaK

It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to go over the lines in a colouring in book!

@luceleftred1

It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to nick your deckchair when you’ve popped off to buy an ice-cream on Brighton beach.

It is worth noting that this ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to get absolutely plastered celebrating tonight but we all recommend she does it anyway.

 

Apologies to the numerous gems I will have inevitably overlooked.

About Lily Maynard

Shamelessly gender critical. There's no such thing as a pink brain, a lesbian with a penis or a gender fairy. Transitioning kids is child abuse.
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15 Responses to 101 things the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to do…

  1. Jane Pritchard says:

    Fabulous. Thank you for assembling them for easy reading and uninterrupted chuckling.
    What a great day. I have never seen so much relieved merriment on this platform

  2. Delia says:

    Very funny and we are all so pleased for Maya, but that does not give Maya the right to re-arrange my flower beds, even if her taste is more contemporary and mine is more cottage.

  3. Eden says:

    That was hilarious. I needed that

  4. She is permitted to say gremlins don’t exist, but she does NOT have permission to say that if they did, they would be green with rage.

  5. Genderwang says:

    I’ve got a stitch from laughing at that lot!!

  6. Denise Corbitt says:

    My comment didn’t make the cut😭😭

  7. Alice says:

    Thank you for this. Hilarious.

    And by the way, it’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to keep trying to defame our song by claiming Our House is *not* in The Middle of Our Street.

  8. Mary Berry (perhaps) says:

    It’s important to emphasize that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to force Mary Berry to eat cakes with soggy bottoms

  9. Leela says:

    This is hilarious -thanks for making me laugh today

  10. Silva says:

    It’s important to emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater the right to eat all the After Eight mints while leaving their wrappers in the box

  11. AWSm says:

    I can’t see this one in the list: It’s important yo emphasise that the ruling does NOT give Maya Forstater – or anybody else – the right to turn my toilet roll around (after I have kindly given permission to use my toilet).

  12. Catherine says:

    Thank you for this lovely compilation. It’s been so good to be able to have a laugh after such a long time.

  13. Pingback: “Misgendering” and harassment

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